Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
dude. I can hear the air.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
