Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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