Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
