watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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