No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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