i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
