Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
