Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
