we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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