it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
