You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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