I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
