ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
