I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
