drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
