i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
