whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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