You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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