I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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