where am i from again
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
