Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
