In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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