The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
