never play flip cup with pint glasses
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I will pee on everything he values.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
