im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
