Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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