I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Say something about gay babies.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
