My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
