I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
