thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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