I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
