She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
