I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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