ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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