He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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