You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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