Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
