i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Two words: blizzard sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
