He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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