Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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