Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
