break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
