u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
