she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i believe in u and ur pee
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
