come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
