Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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