ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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