she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
