found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
