the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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