How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
