i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
