I looked at my own cervix.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
