It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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